Why "Fake It Till You Make It" Fails in Leadership

(And What Actually Works)

Published by Vijay Sha | Executive Mindset Coach

Every week, I get messages from talented managers asking the same question: "Why do I feel like I'm just pretending to be a leader?"

If you've ever felt this way, you're not alone. In fact, 73% of managers admit to feeling like "imposters" in leadership roles, according to recent workplace studies.

But here's what most leadership advice gets wrong: they tell you to "fake it till you make it." This approach not only fails—it can actually damage your credibility and derail your career.

The Problem with Performance-Based Leadership

When you try to "act" like a leader, several things happen:

• People sense the inauthenticity.
• Your team, peers, and superiors have highly tuned social radar. They can detect when someone is performing versus being genuine. This creates an unconscious barrier to trust and respect.
• You become exhausted.
• Maintaining a persona that isn't truly you is mentally draining. You're constantly monitoring your behavior, worrying about being "found out," and second-guessing your decisions.
• Your confidence erodes.
• The more you rely on external techniques and copied behaviors, the less you trust your own instincts. This creates a vicious cycle of self-doubt.
• You attract the wrong outcomes.
• When your leadership style isn't authentic, you attract people and opportunities that align with your fake persona, not your true potential.

The Embarrassing Moment That Changes Everything

I've coached hundreds of managers, and almost all of them have experienced what I call "the exposure moment"—that cringe-worthy instance when their leadership act falls apart in front of others.

Maybe it's a challenging question in a board meeting that reveals your lack of genuine confidence. Perhaps it's a crisis situation where your rehearsed responses don't fit, and you're left scrambling. Or it could be a team member who calls out the disconnect between what you say and how you actually lead.

These moments are painful, but they're also pivotal. They force you to confront a fundamental truth:

authentic leadership cannot be faked.

Real executive presence isn't about having all the answers or never showing vulnerability.

It's about - Owning your decisions. Communicating with genuine confidence. Leading through influence, not authority. Embracing continuous growth.

The 4 Pillars of Executive Mindset Transformation

After two decades of coaching leaders internationally, I've identified four critical areas that separate thosewho successfully transition from "acting" to "being":

1. Mental Clarity

Successful leaders have learned to quiet the internal dialogue of self-doubt and second-guessing. They'vedeveloped what I call "executive-level thinking"—the ability to process information quickly, makedecisions confidently, and communicate with clarity.

2. Emotional Regulation

Authentic leaders don't suppress their emotions; they manage them strategically. They understand howtheir emotional state affects their team and have developed techniques to maintain composure underpressure while still being genuinely human.

3. Values Alignment

The most compelling leaders are those whose actions consistently align with their stated values. This isn'tabout being perfect—it's about being consistent and authentic in your decision-making process.

4. Future-Focused Mindset

Executive-level leaders think beyond the immediate challenges. They've trained themselves to seepatterns, anticipate consequences, and make decisions that serve long-term success rather than short-term comfort.

Your Leadership Breakthrough Moment

Every authentic leader I've worked with can point to a specific moment when they stopped trying to be someone else and started leading from their true self. That moment didn't happen by accident—it happened because they made a conscious decision to do the internal work required for genuine transformation.

The question isn't whether you have what it takes to be an authentic leader. The question is: are you ready to stop performing and start becoming?

Your team is waiting for the real you to show up. Your career is waiting for you to step into genuine executive presence. Your potential is waiting for you to stop acting and start being.

The transformation begins the moment you decide that being an authentic leader is more important than looking like one.